i know i know things are in the past for a reason.... but that doesnt mean you have to forget about them completely. Especially if things were at one time, fun and great. but i mean i guess it is what it is.
what can ya do!?
God Bless!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
thinking back
lately i have been thinking back at the past couple years... friends i made, friends ive lost and for silly reasons. And quite frankly it makes me sad. i wish i could still go to them for things like advice or just to say hi. i still wonder how they are and hope life is treating them well. We are all in the same but yet different parts of our life. And they were once there for me so often its weird to think that they never will be again. its odd how things work out.. or not? i mean... i guess it all depends on how you look at things.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
happy birthday
today is my husbands birthday and he is spending it in korea. i wasnt able to send him his birthday gifts today, as i am still shopping for him and just got his address. i know he is having a rather hard time being away, thats understandable...him and i have gone threw this before but he has never had to do this with wesley til now. im sure in no time with skype and phone calls and plenty of pictures of wesley it will get easier!
on a better note i got to send rob a video of wesley taking his first steps on robs birthday! what a great gift! i was thrilled that i was able to get that and wesley was able to do that for his daddy on his birthday! he is growing so incredibly fast, i cant even believe it!
Happy birthday hubby/daddy!
ive started work, at victoria's secret, i really like it. The ladies are nice and make the work place fun! Plus its different from anything else i have done, so far. its going great though, i enjoy it! i am still working on my photography, slowly but surely as of now, just having family and friends model for me so i can get some practice in, but hopefully some day will make that a job for myself as well!
i cant believe that next month my babyboy will be one year old! gosh how time flies.
time to go.
God Bless
on a better note i got to send rob a video of wesley taking his first steps on robs birthday! what a great gift! i was thrilled that i was able to get that and wesley was able to do that for his daddy on his birthday! he is growing so incredibly fast, i cant even believe it!
Happy birthday hubby/daddy!
ive started work, at victoria's secret, i really like it. The ladies are nice and make the work place fun! Plus its different from anything else i have done, so far. its going great though, i enjoy it! i am still working on my photography, slowly but surely as of now, just having family and friends model for me so i can get some practice in, but hopefully some day will make that a job for myself as well!
i cant believe that next month my babyboy will be one year old! gosh how time flies.
time to go.
God Bless
Monday, June 24, 2013
the now
i have officially said bye to my fort campbell life, though it was a littler bittersweet, i was happy to be going home.. i just wish rob didnt have to go back to korea..
but as of right this minute i am busy living in the now... with my husband having to leave for korea in a few short weeks i am doing all i can with him and our baby boy. tons of hanging out with his family and mine along with doing us time. I am cherishing every minute. Im also giving rob and baby wesley plenty of time to just do guy days and hangout with each other, he will soon be missing out on that, sadly.
We had baby boys early 1st birthday party saturday so that rob would be here for it he had a great turn out! And he got to some cool gifts! The best part was watching him dig into his birthday cake! My dad came up from florida to ump and spend some time with us all so we've been meeting up with him when we can.
I renewed my license today but will have to again soon to have my married name on it since we forgot to take our marriage certificate with us (and my military id and social security card wasnt enough) but i HAD to get it done today for my orientation for work. - i got a job at victoria secrets! yay!!
well that is all i have for now!
God Bless!
but as of right this minute i am busy living in the now... with my husband having to leave for korea in a few short weeks i am doing all i can with him and our baby boy. tons of hanging out with his family and mine along with doing us time. I am cherishing every minute. Im also giving rob and baby wesley plenty of time to just do guy days and hangout with each other, he will soon be missing out on that, sadly.
We had baby boys early 1st birthday party saturday so that rob would be here for it he had a great turn out! And he got to some cool gifts! The best part was watching him dig into his birthday cake! My dad came up from florida to ump and spend some time with us all so we've been meeting up with him when we can.
I renewed my license today but will have to again soon to have my married name on it since we forgot to take our marriage certificate with us (and my military id and social security card wasnt enough) but i HAD to get it done today for my orientation for work. - i got a job at victoria secrets! yay!!
well that is all i have for now!
God Bless!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
stopping time
sometimes i wish there were a way to stop time, or just a least slow it wayyyy down. im not ready to start packing to move. im not ready to start planning my babyboys first birthday. im not ready to say goodbye to my husband as he leaves for yet another year in korea. to much all at once. and of course they are all pretty huge. moving- huge. first birthday- huge. korea- huge.
im just hoping all goes well. hoping that korea only makes us stronger and better than ever. hoping that wesleys birthday goes great and as planned. hoping that moving goes smooth.
as much as i want time to stop i must go with the flow because, well..life goes on. so for now we are just enjoying every day together and doing what we have to do.
short, sweet and to the point.
God Bless!
im just hoping all goes well. hoping that korea only makes us stronger and better than ever. hoping that wesleys birthday goes great and as planned. hoping that moving goes smooth.
as much as i want time to stop i must go with the flow because, well..life goes on. so for now we are just enjoying every day together and doing what we have to do.
short, sweet and to the point.
God Bless!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
big little
Our little boy is getting soooo big. I really cant get over how fast he is growing and i love that i get to watch every minute of it and be here to help him grow. Today he was holding onto the coffee table and walked toward his snacks like a big boy. The past few days when we get him from bed in the morning he has been standing up and playing with his cars mobile that spins over his bed. He likes to play in his cars ball pit as well. He has become quite the crawling machine, and he likes to pull himself up on anything that he can. We are currently working on baba, byebye, dada, mum. Hes getting there! i don't think it'll be too much longer. I'm excited for whats to come, i love watching him learn new things and seeing the excitement on his face.
Speaking of new things Baby Wesley had his first Easter!! His grandma got him a basket with some goodies in it and a toy truck in he, he also got to try his first peep.
Then the Easter bunny got him a stuffed bunny, snacks- yogurt bites and little puffs, bubbles, mega chalk and fun chalk holders that look like bugs.
On Easter we took Wesley to see the Easter bunny in Nashville at bass pro shops, they were doing free Easter bunny pictures and gave us something to do. The Easter bunny wasn't allowed to touch the children so we had to be in the picture as well, which i was okay with.. didn't bother US any. It was funny when we say down Wesley had a huge smile on his face when he looked at the Easter bunny, but once they got the camera out he stopped. HAHA.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
live&learn
so I've come to realize that trying doesn't always mean succeeding...trying can often lead to failure. which doesn't feel good to anyone. I'm going to discuss a situation where i tried and failed. (this isn't too recent, its just been on my mind lately)
...i tried to be the bigger person and put the past behind me, come to find out putting the past behind me was just allowing it to bite me IN the behind. i wanted to better myself and teach my child (though he doesnt understand now, but would at some point) that you cannot and should not hold grudges, sometimes its just a big misunderstanding on both ends and you just need to sit down and talk it out. Well..sometimes being the bigger person doesn't always give you the gratitude you thought it would. Sometimes it makes things worse which in this case it did. I tried to let go of all that had happened and move on but after a while i realized that the other person did not seem fully ready. I had a lot going on at the time, Husband found out he had orders and babyboy and i would be moving back home. I had both of their appointments to go to, and worry about and i had recently started babysitting for a little boy the same age as my son. So i was just taking myself out off all possible stressful / drama situations and doing what i had to do for me. Taking care of my family and another persons child, trying to bring in an income and not have to pay out the butt for childcare, it was a win-win situation. Well while trying to be the bigger person i lost a friend, which sucked. Then me and the person i was trying to mend broken bridges with had a falling out. It was silly really, and handled very immaturely on their part, but i guess in the heat of the moment...crap happens. At the moment i was rather upset for losing a friend and failing to rekindle another. But as of now i feel like it still sucks to lose a friend but theres nothing i can do. I just have to live and learn. I've much too much going on at the moment, husband still having physical therapy on his foot, and babyboys appointments and well being, not to forget i have to care for myself as well. And not to mention the stress of having to move and knowing that our son and i are moving one way while the husband/father is moving to the other side of the world.
Point of the story...you live and you learn...and everything happens for a reason.
God Bless
...i tried to be the bigger person and put the past behind me, come to find out putting the past behind me was just allowing it to bite me IN the behind. i wanted to better myself and teach my child (though he doesnt understand now, but would at some point) that you cannot and should not hold grudges, sometimes its just a big misunderstanding on both ends and you just need to sit down and talk it out. Well..sometimes being the bigger person doesn't always give you the gratitude you thought it would. Sometimes it makes things worse which in this case it did. I tried to let go of all that had happened and move on but after a while i realized that the other person did not seem fully ready. I had a lot going on at the time, Husband found out he had orders and babyboy and i would be moving back home. I had both of their appointments to go to, and worry about and i had recently started babysitting for a little boy the same age as my son. So i was just taking myself out off all possible stressful / drama situations and doing what i had to do for me. Taking care of my family and another persons child, trying to bring in an income and not have to pay out the butt for childcare, it was a win-win situation. Well while trying to be the bigger person i lost a friend, which sucked. Then me and the person i was trying to mend broken bridges with had a falling out. It was silly really, and handled very immaturely on their part, but i guess in the heat of the moment...crap happens. At the moment i was rather upset for losing a friend and failing to rekindle another. But as of now i feel like it still sucks to lose a friend but theres nothing i can do. I just have to live and learn. I've much too much going on at the moment, husband still having physical therapy on his foot, and babyboys appointments and well being, not to forget i have to care for myself as well. And not to mention the stress of having to move and knowing that our son and i are moving one way while the husband/father is moving to the other side of the world.
Point of the story...you live and you learn...and everything happens for a reason.
God Bless
Monday, February 25, 2013
age is but a number
In many cases I hear people saying that I have a lot to learn due to the fact that I am younger than they are, but to me age is but a number...age has nothing to due with what you have yet to learn or not.. you learn by living, and that's what I do. I feel maturity also has nothing to do with age. You learn as you grow and you grow when you learn. No two people are the same... I know people older than I that are a lot more immature than I am but I also know people younger than me that are more mature than I am. It happens, but one thing I hate is when people judge maturity by age. For no matter what I do I try my best and I strive for the best in all things. I may fall every now and then but you can bet your bottom dollar that I pick myself back up and dust myself off and keep going, sometimes it takes me longer than others but I get it done. Right or wrong or indifferent it doesn't matter I will always be the type to try to be the better person in all things. Truth is I'm going to be 21 on the 19th of May, sometimes I feel much older and sometimes I feel younger, it all just depends I guess. I'm not going to lie I'm young I make mistakes but show me someone who hasn't.. I will always try to right my wrongs and move forward and learn from my mistakes, and really that's all one can do.
well its getting late and i have some picking up to do..
Good Night
&
God Bless!
well its getting late and i have some picking up to do..
Good Night
&
God Bless!
a trip down memory lane
The other day Wesley was fighting his nap like crazy so we put him in his seat and took him for a ride. I had no clue where we were but the scenery was pretty and relaxing, open fields, horses, cows and old run down barns and country roads. It was nice to be out and not know where i was for a little while just getting away and enjoying a ride in the jeep the sun was starting to go down on one side of us and the moon was starting to come up on the other it was beautiful out.
Well during the drive and seeing the horses it reminded me of a time when an old friend and I went with another old friend to ride her horse, well she was injured so we had to get her horse for her..we had no clue where they were so we just started watching in the pasture up hills and over to tree lines and all over the place we finally got to the top of the hill and found the horse well then the challenge was getting him down off the hill so we could ride him, when we finally got them down off the hill then it was like a game trying to catch that horse was a challenge thats for sure, that was my first experience with anything like that, but it was funny (not at the time) but once we finally got the horse none of us wanted to ride after all of that.
good times, good times.
Thats one thing I will say, I have had some good times here, whether they have lasted or not. I have had many memorable moments and many learning experiences while we have been here.
thats all for now!!
God Bless!
Well during the drive and seeing the horses it reminded me of a time when an old friend and I went with another old friend to ride her horse, well she was injured so we had to get her horse for her..we had no clue where they were so we just started watching in the pasture up hills and over to tree lines and all over the place we finally got to the top of the hill and found the horse well then the challenge was getting him down off the hill so we could ride him, when we finally got them down off the hill then it was like a game trying to catch that horse was a challenge thats for sure, that was my first experience with anything like that, but it was funny (not at the time) but once we finally got the horse none of us wanted to ride after all of that.
good times, good times.
Thats one thing I will say, I have had some good times here, whether they have lasted or not. I have had many memorable moments and many learning experiences while we have been here.
thats all for now!!
God Bless!
an army crawler
Baby Wesley has started army crawling, that same day he started seeing what all he could get in to. Lets just say he wasn't happy when somethings were taken out of reach. We have a fish tank in our living room he absolutely loves to lay on the floor and watch the fishies or sometimes i will hold him in front of the tank and he will try to get grab them as they swim by the front of the glass. Hes also in a mimicking stage where he wants to do everything you do. I snap my fingers then he tries to snap his fingers. we shake our head at him and he shakes his head back at us. He is also learning to wave bye bye! And hes already starting to try to pull himself up on things. Hes just too smart for his own good! Hes a goofy little guy!! We've been mixing up his foods a little to see what things he likes and doesnt like, we stick with one kind a week. The only food he doesnt really seem to care for is his carrots, but the others he does great with, and he loves mashed potatoes. Hes definitely a growing little boy! Two days ago my baby boy turned six months, it most definitely does not seem like I had him 6 months ago, he has grown and changed sooo much its unbelievable!!
Gosh i just love him so much!!
well its time to feed my little ham so he can watch WWE with his daddy!
Til next time!!
God Bless!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
date night
Yesterday our friend Ciarra and her husband watched Wesley for us for just about he whole day. We took him over to their house at 10:30, Rob stayed for a little while then left because he had to take his buddy to pick up a car somewhere. I stayed til about 12:15 then left to get pictures done, which lasted til four because the photographer did my hair and make-up also, which was a neat experiences. Rob and I then had a date night consisting of dinner and a movie, we went to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays then went to see the movie MAMA. Multiple times during the movie we asked each other if we should just leave and pick Wesley up and go home, but we ended up staying for the whole thing and regretting it after, it definitely wasn't as good as we thought it would be. When we picked up baby Wesley he was sound asleep. They did an amazing job with him and since i was there a little bit I got to see how they were with him wish made leaving him easier, that was our first date night and my first day away from my baby! It also helped that she sent me pictures and updates!! It was nice it get out just the hubby and I we most definitely needed it, not that Wesley is a crazy child or anything he barely gives us any trouble at all but we needed it for us. Im glad we did it!
Time to do Laundry.
Gob Bless!
Time to do Laundry.
Gob Bless!
Friday, February 15, 2013
updates
Its been a while since I've blogged, i was going to go threw and put in everything i missed, but that would take me for ever. So i thought id just do updates in this one.
Life as changed that's for sure. My little man will be 6 months in a week and one day, i cant believe he is already that old, hes growing way to fast! We found out we will be going back home sooner than we thought - well Wesley and I will be at least, hubby got Korea orders again for a year. We've done it before but I think this time it will be harder with us having a baby and being married this time around. But we will get to be with family again and they can watch our little man grow!! We will be celebrating his first birthday about 2 months early so that daddy can be there also!
Babyboys six month checkup is next month and if they still hear his murmur then they said they will get him another apt to get it checked out just to make sure they don't see anything this time around! He sure is growing soo fast, he has recently started to army crawl, i love it..the cutest thing ever! He eats his baby food really well we get him stage 21/2 (textured baby food) he seems to eat it better. He has made two new friends recently Mason and Jack. Both boys that I have babysat. He sure gets a lot of attention and loves ever bit of it!! (he definitely gets that from his daddy!!) I honestly could not have asked for a better baby, this little guy is amazing he isn't fussy and loves to cuddle such a sweet heart! I would be lost without my baby and his daddy, they are great!!
Yesterday was baby Wesley's first valentines day, we got him a stuffed puppy with a red bow, I wish it could have been the real deal but we'll save that for when he can understand and really get excited about it!!
We recently did our taxes and hope to pay off a lot of bills and build our credit a little more so we can get a house when we go home so Rob has a home to go back to when he gets out of Korea We have already found a few that we like, and they are very realistic in price and size for us, so we shall see, its in a couple more months so we'll see whats on the market then, and hopefully actually be able to go look at them!
well little man is getting sleepy and hes not feeling the best so its time to go and take care of him!
God Bless!!
Life as changed that's for sure. My little man will be 6 months in a week and one day, i cant believe he is already that old, hes growing way to fast! We found out we will be going back home sooner than we thought - well Wesley and I will be at least, hubby got Korea orders again for a year. We've done it before but I think this time it will be harder with us having a baby and being married this time around. But we will get to be with family again and they can watch our little man grow!! We will be celebrating his first birthday about 2 months early so that daddy can be there also!
Babyboys six month checkup is next month and if they still hear his murmur then they said they will get him another apt to get it checked out just to make sure they don't see anything this time around! He sure is growing soo fast, he has recently started to army crawl, i love it..the cutest thing ever! He eats his baby food really well we get him stage 21/2 (textured baby food) he seems to eat it better. He has made two new friends recently Mason and Jack. Both boys that I have babysat. He sure gets a lot of attention and loves ever bit of it!! (he definitely gets that from his daddy!!) I honestly could not have asked for a better baby, this little guy is amazing he isn't fussy and loves to cuddle such a sweet heart! I would be lost without my baby and his daddy, they are great!!
Yesterday was baby Wesley's first valentines day, we got him a stuffed puppy with a red bow, I wish it could have been the real deal but we'll save that for when he can understand and really get excited about it!!
We recently did our taxes and hope to pay off a lot of bills and build our credit a little more so we can get a house when we go home so Rob has a home to go back to when he gets out of Korea We have already found a few that we like, and they are very realistic in price and size for us, so we shall see, its in a couple more months so we'll see whats on the market then, and hopefully actually be able to go look at them!
well little man is getting sleepy and hes not feeling the best so its time to go and take care of him!
God Bless!!
Monday, November 19, 2012
a special heart
Babyboy did so good today, We had to take him to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville today so they could check his heart. Last week they were listening to his heart at his apt for his two month shots and the said they heard a murmur which they heard one other time and were suppose to bring up at this apt esp if they still heard it, and they did..so they did an ekg and a chest x-ray right after hearing it, nothing was abnormal but just in case they scheduled us and apt at vandy, which is what we did today. So today They did an ultrasound of his heart then did another ekg...they said everything looked fine then they listened to his heart and heard the murmur and said that it sounded like he may have a hole in his heart so they did another ultrasound of his heart to make sure they didn't miss anything, they didn't find anything again so they said he just has a murmur and that everything is fine! ♥ which of course i am extremely glad to hear, but i feel like if it sounded as though there was a hole in his heart doesn't that mean there probably is one!? i dont know, it just makes me nervous of course because that's is my baby!!
it was funny to watch him while they did the ultrasound on his heart, because he would get loud when the colors were on the screen..he noticed the louder he got the more red and blue would appear on the screen.
it was funny to watch him while they did the ultrasound on his heart, because he would get loud when the colors were on the screen..he noticed the louder he got the more red and blue would appear on the screen.
starting the ultrasound of his heart
watching the screen
♥ a special heart for his mommy and daddy ♥
God Bless
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
growing and learning
My life has been changed by the presence of one tiny little boy! He amazes me a little more everyday! He has already grown soo much, i cant even believe it. He isnt even three months yet and he is already holding and shaking his rattle, he is able to lay on his tummy and hold his head up and turn it from one side to the other, and he is rolling over from his tummy to his back already, and at times he likes to be a biggy big boy and hold his own bottle! Seriously he needs to slow down he's already barely needing his momma, i cant imagine when hes able to walk and talk and only need me for bath time and to read him a book good night... i love that he needs me! He is such a ham, he smiles and flirts - he definitely knows he's a cutie, everyone just loves him. He hates when his daddy hands him over to me when hes fighting sleep because he knows thats one battle that he never wins when mommy has him. He's a sucker for his mommy thats for sure! He loves bath time with his daddy! He has a friend who is just nine days older than him, it is soo cute to watch them two together as they look at each other and talk and smile, god knows what their saying but its just too funny the way they go back and forth with each other!! At the end of the month we are hopefully going back home for a visit where he will meet soo many people he is going to end up being spoiled from all of the holding that i am sure is going to happen, but its okay!
Well its time to feed my little bear!
more to come!
God Bless!
Well its time to feed my little bear!
more to come!
God Bless!
Friday, October 5, 2012
N.B.P.M
Im sure you are wondering what N.B.P.M stands for...well let me tell you- National Bullying Prevention Month. Yup welcome to October, bullying prevention awareness month!
Bullying is something that 99% of us have all endured at some point in our lives, whether we like to admit it or not. I will be the first to say that i have been on both ends of bullying...not so much that i did the bullying myself but i sat there and watched people get bullied in fear that if i spoke up it would turn around and be directed towards me. Needless to say i have been bullied quite a bit in my life, about things like my big eyes, or my clothing choice when i was younger, to my size - height and weight and so much more.
Well here is what i say to that...We all have our own story, and i am not about to let somebody write mine for me!
When i was in 4th grade people would make fun of me for two things..one was the size of my eyes people would walk around saying "shut your eyes" the reason being that they said my eyes were creepy because they were so big. Honestly if you would ask me whats one thing i like about myself i would say my eyes, i like that they are big, i always have! Another thing i would get made fun of for was my clothing choice..not that i really had a choice i was small i was wearing a 6x in 4th grade, and when your wearing clothes that small your options are limited to little mermaid (that was one of the outfits i would get picked on for wearing) and things like that.
Then middle school came around, and i got picked on for my size. People would pick on me for my height whcih didnt really bug me because there is nothing i could have possibly done to change my height. People would pick on me for my weight they would call me anorexic, even my close friends would. Some had even called my mom and told her that they thought i was anorexic and that she should do something about it. I was a cheerleader in middle school and playing basketball and softball i was active, i didnt do anything unhealthy in order to be small. I have always been a small girl, i cant help it no matter how hard i try.
Then came high school, nothing more than the usual things..but i was mainly picked on for one thing and that would be my size...here we go again with the anorexic comments. But by this time i had heard it all through middle school and now high school too..Well at this point i had heard it enough and i had really started letting it get to me. I started to think that maybe all these anorexic comments were people slick way of telling me i was fat, although i really knew i wasnt...my mind had a sick way of tricking myself..i stopped eating breakfast and skipping lunch then eating just a little for dinner if i ate at all. Or i would skip breakfast and eat lunch so my friends wouldnt say anything about me not eating then skip dinner. Then it got to where i was getting bad headaches everyday so then my mom had me log what i was eating so i started eating more again thinking that was the reason for my headaches well it didnt cure them so i quickly went back to my old habbits..then i even started thinking what if i just ate then later made my self purge maybe then i would feel a little better because id be eating and not having a hedache at school. Well that thought quickly passed for i knew i didnt have it in me to make myself get sick plus i dont enjoy throwing up so there was no way i was about to do that to myself. then i met rob he knew what i was doing as far as not eating goes we started dating and he started talking to me about being good to yourself no matter what others say and think..it doesnt matter as long as i am happy with me. He would ask me when the last time i ate was and i would be honest he wouldnt hold back, he would tell me i was stupid and i needed to treat myself better than i was. Then he soon started to call me or text me after every meal to make sure i ate he would ask when i ate what i ate and how much. Most would think that was annoying but i didnt it was nice to me, he was showing me that he cared and wasnt just going to turn his back on what i was doing. He was determined to help me, and to make me want to help myself!
Looking back now i realize that was dumb of me to let people get to me on that level. I wasnt helping myself i was only hurting myself. But im glad i have had such strong people to help pick me back up when i fall!
I have recently heard a few similar stories to these from a few other whom i am close to, it really hits ya hard when it happens to others so close! When i heard what was going on it broke my heart, and i instantly wanted to help! Right now i am working on making some hoodies (since it is hoody weather now) to help spread awareness to bullying! If you are interested in one they are $36 plus shipping, (since i am designing them online.) just message me on here or facebook and ill let you know how you too can help spread awareness! They are simple and to the point!
You hear of cases like demi lovatos- a famous disney star/singer, you look at her and what she has gone through and you look at what she turned to as a quick release and your shocked and wonder what this world has come to..how could such a young girl feel like that was the only way to turn. - So many others have turned to that same thing and them some for that same reason- BULLYING! So lets help put a stop to it! Like i said before We all have our own story, please dont let somebody write yours for you!
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." - Harvey S. Firestone
God Bless!
Bullying is something that 99% of us have all endured at some point in our lives, whether we like to admit it or not. I will be the first to say that i have been on both ends of bullying...not so much that i did the bullying myself but i sat there and watched people get bullied in fear that if i spoke up it would turn around and be directed towards me. Needless to say i have been bullied quite a bit in my life, about things like my big eyes, or my clothing choice when i was younger, to my size - height and weight and so much more.
Well here is what i say to that...We all have our own story, and i am not about to let somebody write mine for me!
When i was in 4th grade people would make fun of me for two things..one was the size of my eyes people would walk around saying "shut your eyes" the reason being that they said my eyes were creepy because they were so big. Honestly if you would ask me whats one thing i like about myself i would say my eyes, i like that they are big, i always have! Another thing i would get made fun of for was my clothing choice..not that i really had a choice i was small i was wearing a 6x in 4th grade, and when your wearing clothes that small your options are limited to little mermaid (that was one of the outfits i would get picked on for wearing) and things like that.
Then middle school came around, and i got picked on for my size. People would pick on me for my height whcih didnt really bug me because there is nothing i could have possibly done to change my height. People would pick on me for my weight they would call me anorexic, even my close friends would. Some had even called my mom and told her that they thought i was anorexic and that she should do something about it. I was a cheerleader in middle school and playing basketball and softball i was active, i didnt do anything unhealthy in order to be small. I have always been a small girl, i cant help it no matter how hard i try.
Then came high school, nothing more than the usual things..but i was mainly picked on for one thing and that would be my size...here we go again with the anorexic comments. But by this time i had heard it all through middle school and now high school too..Well at this point i had heard it enough and i had really started letting it get to me. I started to think that maybe all these anorexic comments were people slick way of telling me i was fat, although i really knew i wasnt...my mind had a sick way of tricking myself..i stopped eating breakfast and skipping lunch then eating just a little for dinner if i ate at all. Or i would skip breakfast and eat lunch so my friends wouldnt say anything about me not eating then skip dinner. Then it got to where i was getting bad headaches everyday so then my mom had me log what i was eating so i started eating more again thinking that was the reason for my headaches well it didnt cure them so i quickly went back to my old habbits..then i even started thinking what if i just ate then later made my self purge maybe then i would feel a little better because id be eating and not having a hedache at school. Well that thought quickly passed for i knew i didnt have it in me to make myself get sick plus i dont enjoy throwing up so there was no way i was about to do that to myself. then i met rob he knew what i was doing as far as not eating goes we started dating and he started talking to me about being good to yourself no matter what others say and think..it doesnt matter as long as i am happy with me. He would ask me when the last time i ate was and i would be honest he wouldnt hold back, he would tell me i was stupid and i needed to treat myself better than i was. Then he soon started to call me or text me after every meal to make sure i ate he would ask when i ate what i ate and how much. Most would think that was annoying but i didnt it was nice to me, he was showing me that he cared and wasnt just going to turn his back on what i was doing. He was determined to help me, and to make me want to help myself!
Looking back now i realize that was dumb of me to let people get to me on that level. I wasnt helping myself i was only hurting myself. But im glad i have had such strong people to help pick me back up when i fall!
I have recently heard a few similar stories to these from a few other whom i am close to, it really hits ya hard when it happens to others so close! When i heard what was going on it broke my heart, and i instantly wanted to help! Right now i am working on making some hoodies (since it is hoody weather now) to help spread awareness to bullying! If you are interested in one they are $36 plus shipping, (since i am designing them online.) just message me on here or facebook and ill let you know how you too can help spread awareness! They are simple and to the point!
You hear of cases like demi lovatos- a famous disney star/singer, you look at her and what she has gone through and you look at what she turned to as a quick release and your shocked and wonder what this world has come to..how could such a young girl feel like that was the only way to turn. - So many others have turned to that same thing and them some for that same reason- BULLYING! So lets help put a stop to it! Like i said before We all have our own story, please dont let somebody write yours for you!
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." - Harvey S. Firestone
God Bless!
mending broken bridges
so recently i have decided to mend a few broken bridges from my past..one from back home and one from here in Kentucky. I'm just over all the things that have gone on and been said. So i have come clean to them about what went on and why. I just felt like it was something i needed to do. There comes a time in your life when you wake up and realize that life is too short to be holding grudges and causing drama and whatever other negative things that may be going on in your life. I just wanted to be-able to write the past as the past and move on with my life. I was done wondering and worrying. I felt like i owed and deserved an explanation for what had gone on between me and those two people. Its not always easy being the bigger person and admitting your wrong but sometimes that's just what needs to be done in order to feel better about things. Sometimes it may just all be a big misunderstanding. I'm the type of person that tends to care tooo much about things i don't like when people are sad or mad at me or about anything else for that matter. I just want to be everyone's friend and get along and be happy. i don't want to some day look back and wonder what if i had done things differently, so i did what i thought i had to do! And i feel better for doing so. im sure things were said on both ends but ya know what i don't care anymore its in the past and i am over it! I've got great friends and an awesome family, both here and back home so im happy. There is no need to dwell on the past when the future looks so great!
Not to long ago i mended a bridge that i had broken a while ago with another good friend from here. Her and i had a falling out, i honestly don't remember what it was over nor do i really care for i have put that all behind me...we started talking and all not long before she had her baby girl, and might i said i am so glad that we did. She was the first person i had met here, our husbands are good friends, and we have quite a bit in common. And i absolutely adore her sweet little girl, and so does baby Wesley!
God Bless!
Not to long ago i mended a bridge that i had broken a while ago with another good friend from here. Her and i had a falling out, i honestly don't remember what it was over nor do i really care for i have put that all behind me...we started talking and all not long before she had her baby girl, and might i said i am so glad that we did. She was the first person i had met here, our husbands are good friends, and we have quite a bit in common. And i absolutely adore her sweet little girl, and so does baby Wesley!
God Bless!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
welcome to motherhood
Being a mother has completely changed my life, for the better. Ive never felt so much love! I truly believe this is what i was born to do..to be a mother!
I know i know ive only been a mother for a couple days shy of 4 weeks now but so far its been ok. I can tell that being a mother has changed me and is making me grow up to be a bigger and better person. I no longer feel the need to be up to date on all the latest gossip (although i am a girl so of course i dont mind hearing a little here and there...but it no longer consumes my life). I don't feel the need to always be out doing something, im perfectly ok with just hanging out at home with my little family. I no longer get upset or grumpy if i am awaken through out the night..or made to wake up early, for i know my motherly duties and i am all for them. I am the one that brought this little man into the world and i know it is my responsibility to get up with him and feed him and change him and bathe him, and to love and take care of him. and i couldn't be happier in doing so! And i am glad i do not have it do it on my own, having my husband there to help me makes it that much better and easier, not to mention i just love seeing him with our little man! It melts my heart to watch him interact with Wesley!
Back to motherhood... you can definitely tell your a mother when you realize you forgot a burp rag and are okay with using one of your favorite or new tops to clean spit up off your little ones face. or when it doesnt completely gross you out when your changing your babies diaper and end up getting poop on your hand. Or like if you see they have a little booger in their nose and theres no tissue or nose sucker in reach and your okay with picking their nose. lol. Its kind of funny if you think about it .. if that would have happened anytime before with any other child it probably would have grossed me out- at least just a little, but its my child so im okay with it. I would and will do anything for this little guy so to me all of that is really no big deal.
if you have kids im sure you understand and if you dont im sure one day you will!
cuddle time, man i really dont want my little bear to grow up i just love these little moments soo much!
God bless!
I know i know ive only been a mother for a couple days shy of 4 weeks now but so far its been ok. I can tell that being a mother has changed me and is making me grow up to be a bigger and better person. I no longer feel the need to be up to date on all the latest gossip (although i am a girl so of course i dont mind hearing a little here and there...but it no longer consumes my life). I don't feel the need to always be out doing something, im perfectly ok with just hanging out at home with my little family. I no longer get upset or grumpy if i am awaken through out the night..or made to wake up early, for i know my motherly duties and i am all for them. I am the one that brought this little man into the world and i know it is my responsibility to get up with him and feed him and change him and bathe him, and to love and take care of him. and i couldn't be happier in doing so! And i am glad i do not have it do it on my own, having my husband there to help me makes it that much better and easier, not to mention i just love seeing him with our little man! It melts my heart to watch him interact with Wesley!
Back to motherhood... you can definitely tell your a mother when you realize you forgot a burp rag and are okay with using one of your favorite or new tops to clean spit up off your little ones face. or when it doesnt completely gross you out when your changing your babies diaper and end up getting poop on your hand. Or like if you see they have a little booger in their nose and theres no tissue or nose sucker in reach and your okay with picking their nose. lol. Its kind of funny if you think about it .. if that would have happened anytime before with any other child it probably would have grossed me out- at least just a little, but its my child so im okay with it. I would and will do anything for this little guy so to me all of that is really no big deal.
if you have kids im sure you understand and if you dont im sure one day you will!
cuddle time, man i really dont want my little bear to grow up i just love these little moments soo much!
God bless!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
living life
My son is living a pretty full life already for only being 3 weeks and 3 days old! First of all WOW i cant believe my baby is almost 4 weeks old!! But...i also cannot believe He has been to three concerts already...
1. Kip Moore
2. Kelly Clarkson
3. Uncle Kracker
What in the world, im 20 and my son has seen one less concert than i have..whats up with that?! Even though i know he wont remember them and he has no clue who they are im glad we are able to do things like that as a family - me his daddy and him. They were all free concerts so we figured why not go!? Although the kip moore concert was rather disappointing. The other two on the other hand, they were really pretty good!
Off topic a little bit but today marks 3 years of my husband being in the Army..3 down & 2 to go! So far it hasnt been bad, lets hope it stays that way.
Well its time to go feed my little bear!
sorry my blogs are sooo short these days, i just love spending time with my little family!
God Bless!
1. Kip Moore
2. Kelly Clarkson
3. Uncle Kracker
What in the world, im 20 and my son has seen one less concert than i have..whats up with that?! Even though i know he wont remember them and he has no clue who they are im glad we are able to do things like that as a family - me his daddy and him. They were all free concerts so we figured why not go!? Although the kip moore concert was rather disappointing. The other two on the other hand, they were really pretty good!
Off topic a little bit but today marks 3 years of my husband being in the Army..3 down & 2 to go! So far it hasnt been bad, lets hope it stays that way.
Well its time to go feed my little bear!
sorry my blogs are sooo short these days, i just love spending time with my little family!
God Bless!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Welcome Baby Wesley
we would like to welcome our baby boy!
WESLEY JOSEPH
7 lbs 4 oz, 20.5 inches long
We went in for me to be induced on Wed August 22, at 9:30 am. And Wesley was born at 4:33 am Thursday morning - August 23, 2012. Everything went smoothly though it took its time, baby was healthy along with myself! I honestly could not have asked for a better pregnancy and delivery, everything just went soooo well!! I had my mom and of course my husband in the delivery room with me, they were such a good help i could not have done it without their amazing support!
Our lives have changed, only for the better. We couldnt be happier with life right now! I absolutely love my little family.
Time to go cuddle with my hubby and baby boy!!
God bless!!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Good news
well today i had a stress test and a check up. The stress test went well, along with my check up. The checked to see if i was dilated at all and i was at a fingertip - so not much at all. So i figured great its going to be a while still til i have my sweet little baby boy in my arms. Not that my pregnancy was bad or anything im just getting anxious for our little bear to get here!!
Well at the end of the apt my ob said she thought she had some good news, rob asked what the news was and she said well we have an induction date for you.. robs eyes lite up as he heard that and we asked when it was for she said the 22! AHHH thats in two days!! I was happy, more anxious, and alot more nervous when she said that!
welp time to get all the sleep we can get while we can!! and i have to get my bags packed!!
if you dont hear from me in the next couple days expect to see a new blog posting not long after wesley is born!!
God Bless!
Well at the end of the apt my ob said she thought she had some good news, rob asked what the news was and she said well we have an induction date for you.. robs eyes lite up as he heard that and we asked when it was for she said the 22! AHHH thats in two days!! I was happy, more anxious, and alot more nervous when she said that!
welp time to get all the sleep we can get while we can!! and i have to get my bags packed!!
if you dont hear from me in the next couple days expect to see a new blog posting not long after wesley is born!!
God Bless!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
stress test
Yesterday i went in for babies second stress test. At first they were concerned about my blood pressure, it was a little elevated which is uncommon for what it has been through out this pregnancy. So the set it up to check my blood pressure every five minutes. Then they noticed i was having slight contractions and during those contractions they said Baby Wesley's heart rate was slightly lowering so they wanted me to stay a little longer so that they could make sure all was well. By the time i left they said my blood pressure was lowering and that baby Wesley was okay. They also asked if i had my bags packed, i told them i had yet to do so they advised me that i should for they think Wesley may come early! So i guess that is something i better get done, although even if he comes without me having my bags packed (everything for him is ready!) we dont live far from the hospital on post so as soon as i am settled rob can always go get my things, or it could really even wait til after i have baby. Its not like im going to need anything before then! But im sure that i will make sure everything is ready so that rob doesnt have to worry about it. He has enough to worry about, like making sure family knows and being there for me and important things like that!!
My next apt is tomorrow, i believe at two twenty..i am hoping they will check to see if i am at all dilated, along with the norm- checking my blood pressure and looking over my sugars and listening to little bears heart and measuring my belly. And i would see how much longer they feel it will be til baby Wesley is here, not that they will know for sure or really be able to say. Im just anxious and want my baby boy!! lol.
Well, time to go get some stuff done. just thought id give a quick little thing about how my apt went yesterday!
God bless!!
My next apt is tomorrow, i believe at two twenty..i am hoping they will check to see if i am at all dilated, along with the norm- checking my blood pressure and looking over my sugars and listening to little bears heart and measuring my belly. And i would see how much longer they feel it will be til baby Wesley is here, not that they will know for sure or really be able to say. Im just anxious and want my baby boy!! lol.
Well, time to go get some stuff done. just thought id give a quick little thing about how my apt went yesterday!
God bless!!
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