N.B.P.M

Im sure you are wondering what N.B.P.M stands for...well let me tell you- National Bullying Prevention Month. Yup welcome to October, bullying prevention awareness month!

Bullying is something that 99% of us have all endured at some point in our lives, whether we like to admit it or not. I will be the first to say that i have been on both ends of bullying...not so much that i did the bullying myself but i sat there and watched people get bullied in fear that if i spoke up it would turn around and be directed towards me.  Needless to say i have been bullied quite a bit in my life, about things like my big eyes, or my clothing choice when i was younger, to my size - height and weight and so much more.

Well here is what i say to that...We all have our own story, and i am not about to let somebody write mine for me!

When i was in 4th grade people would make fun of me for two things..one was the size of my eyes people would walk around saying "shut your eyes" the reason being that they said my eyes were creepy because they were so big. Honestly if you would ask me whats one thing i like about myself i would say my eyes, i like that they are big, i always have!  Another thing i would get made fun of for was my clothing choice..not that i really had a choice i was small i was wearing a 6x in 4th grade, and when your wearing clothes that small your options are limited to little mermaid (that was one of the outfits i would get picked on for wearing) and things like that.

Then middle school came around, and i got picked on for my size. People would pick on me for my height whcih didnt really bug me because there is nothing i could have possibly done to change my height. People would pick on me for my weight they would call me anorexic, even my close friends would. Some had even called my mom and told her that they thought i was anorexic and that she should do something about it. I was a cheerleader in middle school and playing basketball and softball i was active, i didnt do anything unhealthy in order to be small. I have always been a small girl, i cant help it no matter how hard i try.

Then came high school, nothing more than the usual things..but i was mainly picked on for one thing and that would be my size...here we go again with the anorexic comments. But by this time i had heard it all through middle school and now high school too..Well at this point i had heard it enough and i had really started letting it get to me. I started to think that maybe all these anorexic comments were people slick way of telling me i was fat, although i really knew i wasnt...my mind had a sick way of tricking myself..i stopped eating breakfast and skipping lunch then eating just a little for dinner if i ate at all. Or i would skip breakfast and eat lunch so my friends wouldnt say anything about me not eating then skip dinner. Then it got to where i was getting bad headaches everyday so then my mom had me log what i was eating so i started eating more again thinking that was the reason for my headaches well it didnt cure them so i quickly went back to my old habbits..then i even started thinking what if i just ate then later made my self purge maybe then i would feel a little better because id be eating and not having a hedache at school. Well that thought quickly passed for i knew i didnt have it in me to make myself get sick plus i dont enjoy throwing up so there was no way i was about to do that to myself.  then i met rob he knew what i was doing as far as not eating goes we started dating and he started talking to me about being good to yourself no matter what others say and think..it doesnt matter as long as i am happy with me. He would ask me when the last time i ate was and i would be honest he wouldnt hold back, he would tell me i was stupid and i needed to treat myself better than i was. Then he soon started to call me or text me after every meal to make sure i ate he would ask when i ate what i ate and how much. Most would think that was annoying but i didnt it was nice to me, he was showing me that he cared and wasnt just going to turn his back on what i was doing. He was determined to help me, and to make me want to help myself!

Looking back now i realize that was dumb of me to let people get to me on that level. I wasnt helping myself i was only hurting myself. But im glad i have had such strong people to help pick me back up when i fall!

I have recently heard a few similar stories to these from a few other whom i am close to, it really hits ya hard when it happens to others so close! When i heard what was going on it broke my heart, and i instantly wanted to help! Right now i am working on making some hoodies (since it is hoody weather now) to help spread awareness to bullying! If you are interested in one they are $36 plus shipping, (since i am designing them online.) just message me on here or facebook and ill let you know how you too can help spread awareness! They are simple and to the point!

You hear of cases like demi lovatos- a famous disney star/singer, you look at her and what she has gone through and you look at what she turned to as a quick release and your shocked and wonder what this world has come to..how could such a young girl feel like that was the only way to turn. - So many others have turned to that same thing and them some for that same reason- BULLYING! So lets help put a stop to it! Like i said before We all have our own story, please dont let somebody write yours for you!



"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." - Harvey S. Firestone


God Bless!

mending broken bridges

so recently i have decided to mend a few broken bridges from my past..one from back home and one from here in Kentucky.  I'm just over all the things that have gone on and been said. So i have come clean to them about what went on and why. I just felt like it was something i needed to do. There comes a time in your life when you wake up and realize that life is too short to be holding grudges and causing drama and whatever other negative things that may be going on in your life. I just wanted to be-able to write the past as the past and move on with my life. I was done wondering and worrying. I felt like i owed and deserved an explanation for what had gone on between me and those two people. Its not always easy being the bigger person and admitting your wrong but sometimes that's just what needs to be done in order to feel better about things. Sometimes it may just all be a big misunderstanding. I'm the type of person that tends to care tooo much about things i don't like when people are sad or mad at me or about anything else for that matter. I just want to be everyone's friend and get along and be happy. i don't want to some day look back and wonder what if i had done things differently, so i did what i thought i had to do! And i feel better for doing so. im sure things were said on both ends but ya know what i don't care anymore its in the past and i am over it! I've got great friends and an awesome family, both here and back home so im happy. There is no need to dwell on the past when the future looks so great!

Not to long ago i mended a bridge that i had broken a while ago with another good friend from here. Her and i had a falling out, i honestly don't remember what it was over nor do i really care for i have put that all behind me...we started talking and all not long before she had her baby girl, and might i said i am so glad that we did. She was the first person i had met here, our husbands are good friends, and we have quite a bit in common. And i absolutely adore her sweet little girl, and so does baby Wesley!

God Bless!