so I've come to realize that trying doesn't always mean succeeding...trying can often lead to failure. which doesn't feel good to anyone. I'm going to discuss a situation where i tried and failed. (this isn't too recent, its just been on my mind lately)
...i tried to be the bigger person and put the past behind me, come to find out putting the past behind me was just allowing it to bite me IN the behind. i wanted to better myself and teach my child (though he doesnt understand now, but would at some point) that you cannot and should not hold grudges, sometimes its just a big misunderstanding on both ends and you just need to sit down and talk it out. Well..sometimes being the bigger person doesn't always give you the gratitude you thought it would. Sometimes it makes things worse which in this case it did. I tried to let go of all that had happened and move on but after a while i realized that the other person did not seem fully ready. I had a lot going on at the time, Husband found out he had orders and babyboy and i would be moving back home. I had both of their appointments to go to, and worry about and i had recently started babysitting for a little boy the same age as my son. So i was just taking myself out off all possible stressful / drama situations and doing what i had to do for me. Taking care of my family and another persons child, trying to bring in an income and not have to pay out the butt for childcare, it was a win-win situation. Well while trying to be the bigger person i lost a friend, which sucked. Then me and the person i was trying to mend broken bridges with had a falling out. It was silly really, and handled very immaturely on their part, but i guess in the heat of the moment...crap happens. At the moment i was rather upset for losing a friend and failing to rekindle another. But as of now i feel like it still sucks to lose a friend but theres nothing i can do. I just have to live and learn. I've much too much going on at the moment, husband still having physical therapy on his foot, and babyboys appointments and well being, not to forget i have to care for myself as well. And not to mention the stress of having to move and knowing that our son and i are moving one way while the husband/father is moving to the other side of the world.
Point of the story...you live and you learn...and everything happens for a reason.
God Bless
